Friday night a nasty storm blew through my hometown. I laid next to James in our camper watching the lightning get closer and closer. Suddenly, the wind picked up and I wondered out loud if we were safer in the camper or in the Suburban. James answered me with a grunt and snore. So I stared out the window watching the tall spindly pine trees the occupy our future backyard bend back and forth waiting for one of them to crack under the pressure.

I have always been equally fascinated and horrified of severe storms. When I was young, my dad would listen to the weather statements on the radio in the bathroom. (what? you didn’t have a radio in your bathroom? dude, you missed out on lip synching to bad 80’s music in the mirror.) He would pace up and down the hallway looking out the windows until the storms had finally passed. Even if they were just your garden variety thunderstorm I would sneak into my parents’ bedroom and crawl into bed with them. As I got older I would sleep on the floor without bothering to wake them.

The summer I moved to Delaware I lived through the aftermath of several hurricanes. Then, the next summer I was in Dallas, Texas. Dallas weather makes weather in Delaware and Minnesota look like child’s play. When I lived in Dallas I worked for a large satellite radio network run by a mouse whose balls are safely kept under Goofy’s hat. I had a full time job there during the week, but on Friday nights I would go back in to help with production of a morning show’s weekend show. (this is hard without naming names)

ANYWAY! Once I had to go into work and there was a tornado warning out for our area. My sister, who was my roommate and co-worker, told me that I should be fine and to just get my ass into work or there would be a lot of pissed off affiliates. OK, she might not have said all of that, most of it was the nagging voice in my head.

So, I drove to work. The entire time it felt like the wind was picking up the little Mazda I had toot tooted my way around the Metroplex. Surrounded my rednecks in pickup trucks with their windows down “woo hoo”ing and waiting to be taken to the Wizard.

A work the power would go out and the satellite feed was totally messed up. My bosses, who loved me so, came in to keep my company as we sat through another airing of both weekend shows to make sure it all went out right.

Sometimes I miss Dallas. Not for the storms, but for the friends I made.

*weep*

I freakin’ forgot what this post was going to be about. I took three left turns back there. Back to Friday night. I didn’t flip out. I had taken a couple of Advil PM and it took me off to dream land where I don’t remember any dreams I had because the sleep was *that* good.

The next morning my brother came over to help up construct our future basement. The neighbors stopped by to offer us their extra bedrooms if the weather ever got bad again. My brother told us how a huge pine tree had blown down by an apartment building down the road. The pine tree that they used to decorate with blue lights for Christmas has blown into the apartment building, littering the balconies of the tenants.

Another left turn … I love Christmas lights.

• …. diggin' a hole.http://twitpic.com/bx4tb Plus, his helper, looks like Brad Pitt with his head shaved all fuzzy-like. #
• Digging out an old foundation to put a new house up where an old one was. Now they're knocking down trees for septic. Smells like xmas. #
• Left Brad Pitt to get home for Abby's 4th Birthday! Growing up too fast. #
• Waiting on my husband to finish work. Abbys bday isnt so happy right now. #
• Trying to keep my temper in check. James FINALLY showed. Has to go back to work tho. #
• I am thankful he's still working. So hard to make kids understand that he has no choice. #

• . @MckMama Keeping Stellan in my thoughts and prayers. #

• RT I believe in the power of moms on the Internet. Please RT & ask readers to send prayers/ thoughts to Stellan/ @mckmama RIGHT NOW. #

• …stayed up way past my bedtime. giving up for the night. must sleep. at least i am back in my own bed. 1 kid stayed back with g-ma. #
• going to the lake to hang with my dad tomorrow. gonna say f-u to the world and wear a fuckin' swimsuit. if you see my ugly scar, so be it. #
• one day i might muster up the courage to show the world what happened this winter, but i still cringe every time i look in the mirror. #
• Oh yeah, I am supposed to be sleeping. James keeps waking up and looking at me. Poor guy. I am a mean wife. #

• People who have 50+ items & use the express lane make me wanna … #

• Looking up how to boil eggs. Not a domestic diva by any means. #
• No one napped this afternoon. Never have I wished I were at BlogHer more than I am wishing RIGHT NOW> #
• Uhhh.. I wear size 10 if anyone happens along a free pair of cute crocs that needs a home. *cough& #
• tinychat is making my computer very very mad. #bhah09 #
• Had to bail on the BlogHerAtHome chat… kept locking up Mozilla. maybe it would've helped if I didn't have25 tabs open at ones? #bhah09 #
• . @averygoodyear I'd love to be included in your list. Thanks for compiling it! #
• I blogged! Forgot to use spell check at first, but I blogged. It's a f' #
• Haha Err premature twit-jaculation? #
• I think that's a clue I need to get to bed. #
• So gonna go to BlogHer10 – warning you now! I am swag hungry. #

It’s quiet in the house. A rare occurence. Everyone is asleep, well except for Maggie – she’s staring at me wondering when I am going to move the laptop from her sleeping place which is right at the top of my head. Even Maggie is having a hard time keeping her eyes open.

I am often heard saying that when I die I want to come back as a fat house cat. Ours, Jinx and Maggie, have life pretty damn good. Sure, there are the three babies who chase after them chanting “meow” and the bossy 4 year old who demands they sleep on her bed in the afternoon plus the moody 10 year old who claims that they are not her cats because they don’t love her (at this stage in her life it seems no one does, which makes me sad). Still, they get to nap all day and eat when they please. If they’re especially cute I might even turn on the tub faucet for them so they can get their drink on.

In reality, I don’t know if I believe in reincarnation or heaven or any of it. There’s nothing tangible for me to grasp on to that I can believe as fact. I know, I should have faith that there is something else out there. After Ethan died I lost what little faith I had. Some people, after they lose a child, find religion. I went the other way and told God to go fuck himself.

If you are religious, I don’t look down upon you or laugh at your blind faith. I am happy that you feel you can find comfort in your God. Just so long as you don’t spend your time trying to convert me, chances are we’ll be great friends. I warn you, I swear – a lot.

I’ve been really working on the whole not swearing thing. It’s hard, yo. My addiction to swearing began when I was in the 6th grade. I was finally out of elementary school and got to ride the bus with the middle and high school kids. Add to the scenario that my sister was a senior and a bunch of juvenile delinquents lived down the street from us. This was my pass to the back fo the bus.

The back of the bus is where you learned about the world. You learned how to throw stuff out of the window without the bus driver seeing – although we never had that issue since our driver then, Eddie, was nearing 90 years old. I am not joking either. The guy drove all of my mom’s kids to their first days of kindergarten and there’s a 15 year age difference between the eldest and the youngest. He drove like an old man too, often having to pull over on the shoulder to let traffic pass by.

On those slow rides home I heard every swear word known to man and how to use it in a sentence to convey the most meaning. There were kids who just swore to swear and those who could insert a good four letter word into their conversation with great ease. You could easily spot the newbies from he seasoned swearer. Newbies would litter their sentences with expletives while an expert would save them for when the time was right.

The first time I swore in front of my dad I was fishing with him and my soon to be step mother. I had a fish on my line and as I reeled it up it got away. I, without thinking, said “shit!” under my breath. My dad immediately asked me what I said. I was afraid to tell him not knowing what sort of punishment he could give me out in the middle of a lake.

I should post a little aside here stating that my parents were and are swearers. My mom once got after my brother and I for swearing while we were fighting in high school by saying “I wish you guys would stop with all that goddamn swearing! Jesus Christ!” We soon came to an agreement that swear words that were unacceptable to her were “bitch” and “fuck” so we stopped those. Still, my brother can be a real shithead. Not swearing! See!

Where was I? Oh yeah, fishing. I reluctantly told my dad and my soon to be step mom (who is a big church person) that I said shit and then I flinched. My dad? Laughed.

The first time Emma swore was when she was telling me I swore too much when she was all of 4 years old. The conversation went something like this:

Emma: “Mommy, you swear too much.”
Me: “I do? What so I say?”
Emma: “Stuff like ’shit’ and stuff.”

I laughed.

Abby’s first and favorite swear word is “dammit.” She picked that gem up from James. Totally innocent with that one! She would toddle around the house chanting “dammit” and giggling when we asked her to stop. It didn’t help things that we were also giggling. Soon, we stopped making a big deal about it and soon she stopped saying it. Every once in a while I’ll hear her say “dammit” when she’s coloring and goes outside of the lines.

Me? Totally proud she can use it in the context in which it should be used.

The babies haven’t sworn yet. I am sure I’ll blog about it when they do.

My love for books probably started in the womb. My mother’s collection of murder mysteries filled her bookcase that went across her entire bedroom wall and from floor to ceiling. She’d take us along with her to the library when we were little, plopping us in the childrens’ section while she looked for something that suited her tastes. The smell of old books competed with the smell of gasoline as my favorite childhood smell. What can I say? I’m weird.

• Support Friends of Maddie, add a #twibbon to your avatar now! – http://bit.ly/xGNMl #
• My husband is laughing like a little girl at Wipeout. #

• Dear Mediacom, When you send out a flier in the newspaper inform your employees. Thanks, the customer who is in hold & transfer hell #
• Now remembering why we disconnected the cable in the first place. #
• Entered a bunch of giveaways on @BlogHerAtHome .. don't have the attention span to get more entries. Think it's nap time. #
• Hell's Kitchen! Woo! #
• Can someone stow me away in their luggage for BlogHer? I wanna go and the kids are driving me b-a-n-a-n-a-s! #
• Purse shopping on Etsy. This is dangerous. #

• All of the kids have a "case of the Mondays" and I am starting to wish I was deaf. #
• Blog, walk or lay down with a book? Hmmm I think I might lay down for a bit. #
• Woman on Nightline gets a boob reduction & tummy tuck to try to get a job. Err. I don't wanna be superficial, but her nose needed more work. #
• I can't blame her for wanting to have it done, but she doesn't have a flippin' job. #

• I cannot be trusted to remember things. Forgot to put the milk in the fridge. #

• Entering the dirty details into my http://www.sparkpeople.com profile Trying to get back into the swing of losing weight. #
• Sticks have been pee'd on. Big ol' negative. Still scheduling the snip snip for my husband. I know y'all were waiting for that burst of TMI. #
• If Maxie won't marry Spinelli, I will. OK, I can't but…. he's just so sweet. Now I am going to read a book. Yay for nap time!! #

• Dentist today. How many times should I brush & floss this morning to make it look like I take perfect care of my teeth? Hmmm #
• WTF?! There is a singing poop with lipstick singing to my kid on CBC. You Canadians are wacko. #
• RT @MN_news: 'Angela's Ashes' author Frank McCourt gravely ill, brother says http://bit.ly/kABxp #
• That's one of my favorite recent reads. #
• The hippy guilt I felt buying a Suburban. Oy. Plus, the whole over populating the planet with 5 kids. I am evil. #
• 50 degrees in the middle of July is a nasty joke, Mother Nature. #

• Finally getting around to packing up the 6-9 month baby clothes. The triplets are 13 & 1/2 months old. I kinda procrastinate a lot. #
• Now I need to move onto unpacking the babies' suitcase. Operating Clean the Fucking Nursery is in full effect. #
• Kicked out of the babies' room by Grandma for naptime. Need to have a yard sale. Bouncy seats x 3 infant seats x 3 … etc #
• Takes up a lot of room. #

• Should not read food blogs when I am starvin' marvin. #

• Period late. Boobs sore. Tubes tied. Not pregnant. Right? Just my thyroid fucking with me. Right? Shit. Who has a stick to pee on?? #
• Now that I've mentioned my fears I'll get my period. (that's what I'm hoping for anyway) #

• Period late. Boobs sore. Tubes tied. Not pregnant. Right? Just my thyroid fucking with me. Right? Shit. Who has a stick to pee on?? #
• Now that I've mentioned my fears I'll get my period. (that's what I'm hoping for anyway) #

• ZeFrank is back at it again. I can sleep better at night. http://bit.ly/xNKi3
  #thinklong #